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Standing on a bridge all alone
thoughts pulsing through my mind
wind burning my face
tears freezing on my skin
rope in hand, silently I move
I slither outside the railing
looking down into cold dark waters
it looks plenty deep from here
with a final thought and tear
I let myself go, leaving it all behind
as the water comes rushing toward me
I stop before hitting the surface
with my neck snug in my rope, I hang...
just inches above the water
swaying in silence, in freedom...
a perfect fall into my happy ending
-Heather
Changes In The Mirror
Dissatisfied with my reflection
festering inside my mirror
measures taken to an all new extreme
to make a better image clearer
adapting to a life of semi-starvation
haircuts and jet black make-up
all in serch of self improvement
failed attempts run down with bad luck...
wild sensation...a kind of addicting high
my first time is hard to explain
light headed and a rush of blood
mixed with a slight touch of pain
taste of vomit--binge and purge
fix the imperfections
pills to help the misery of failure
all to change my reflection
-Heather
I remember the years like yesterday
two of us stripped naked on the floor
in your basement apartment
from dusk till dawn
prozac pills and heroine
pumping through our blood
porno flicks and cheep alchol
the simple joys in our life
Sugar highs and sugar lows
dimmed lights and a broken radio
scratched cd's, broken bottles
and our colthing lined the floor
six years later, moved away
still looking back at then
seeing your apartment as it was
the night I found you hung in it.
-Heather
Drugs And Misery
Basement Apartment
This needle point sunk beneath
my skin this one last time
I'm sick of lying to myself
pretending that I'm fine
poison running through my viens
plusing to my heart
each heartbeat slowly breaking
tearing me apart
a mind cursed with sickness
slowly driven insane
each scar or memory
marked with its own bloodstain
a hopeless addiction it appears
dieing with each injection
lying to myself again
calling it my protection
take this needle from my vien
chain me up inside
pin me down break my spine
don't let me come untied
this poisons my salvation
makes the truth hard to believe
it protects my from myself
and its slowly killing me
-Heather
Only Human...
its seems to me im only human.
after all this time...
im human after all.
i can bleed like you do,
i can cry like you do,
i can laugh out loud like you do,
I can scream inside like you do,
i can hurt like you do,
i can learn to love like you do,
i can forgive like you do,
but i dont forget like you do,
i can smile like you do
i can touch like you do
feel like you do...
i can dream like you do
i can wake up screaming like you do
i have friends like you do
i have ememies like you do
i can die like you...
be burried six feet under like you...
so i guess im truely human after all.
who knew....
-heather
Memory Box
I've always been taught to treasure
each moment and passing memory
so I filled a box with countless scars
locked it up and threw away the key
its a box of sinful secrets
of things that have been and gone
hidden from the world
where memories belong
tales of sorrow love and loss
and things you'll never see
all locked inside, forever more
deep inside of me
-Heather
Pitiful Anonymous
leather threds from head to toe
boots up to her knees
pale skin topped off with raven hair
slouched on the corner of the street
pornografic and tragic
cheap films in black and white
trying to make a quick doller
working every night
a run in her fishnet stocking
black lace underwear
cockaine in her pockets
not a penny to spear
nameless in the obituaries
victim of homicide rape
stolen off her corner
gone without a trace
-Heather
War In My Head
screaming all around me
darkness and smoke filled skies
smell of bloodshed in the air
all inside my head
friends falling, I can't help them...
their bodies fill the trenches
bodies of those I held close
taken from me forever...
on my own....
fend for yourself...and no other
loseing a rageing battle
in an endless war
put the gun in my trembling hand
lined with battle scars
voices screaming...shouting
Fire at will!!!
finger on the triger
stareing down the barrel
just one click to my happy ending
end the war...fire at will...
-Heather
Drowning
Im standing in a shadowed stream
crying, screaming, hurting, drowning
in the valley of death
forsaken by the world
the crimson sky fades to black
as the firey sun vanised in the hills
and the echoed howls of the silver wolves
danced through the stars
from beneeth my feet
the pebbles slip, slowly one by one
stolen by the current
tumbling to the relm of no where
my body shivered, submerged in the depths
the icy water caressing my neck
gentally, lovingly an unforgetable feeling
that grew as it over took me completly
watching the water take me away
feeling the water fill my lungs
my screams were silenced
and my sorrows washed away
I no longer stand in the shadowed stream
my cries no longer fill the air
only the howls of the dying wolves remain
to keep the darkness company
-Heather
Your Torment
the scar in your heart,
the crack in your mind,
the reason you can't sleep...
the misery in your eyes,
the cuts on your wrists,
the pain in your memory...
is me...
the voice in your head,
the itch you can't reach,
the paranoia you poesses,
the silence of your empty room,
the blood inside your viens,
the air in your lungs...
is me...
you cant live without me
I will kill you if you try
I'll get inside you...deep inside
eat you away, slowly...
you'll never forget
I wont let you forget....
thats me....
-Heather
You Too Late
Claustrophobia
all alone in your room tonight
hanging, choking...gasping for air
hoping that you'll find me
before I'm gone forever
feeling my heartbeat grow slower
beat harder...then weaker
body growing colder
theres still no sign of you
a final breath fills my lungs
and the knot tightens to its best
Im hung...motionless now
I guess you didn't care...
The door opens slowly, just a crack
light filters into the darkness
highlighting my face and the rope around my neck
just moments to late to save me
-Heather
walls stretching for the sky
growing taller with every moment
closing in around me
growing tighter the longer I'm there
getting harder and harder to breath
heart pounding in my chest
nails peircing into my skin
my body slowy getting crushed
theres no escape, I can't get out
it just keeps getting smaller
I'm shaking and crying in fear
as my breathing races
nail marks pressed so deep their bleeding
my body temperture is increasing quickly
save me please....I'm frightened
claustrophobic...I'm smothering....
-Heather
Dead On Your Knees
Suicide Note
broken and pathetic
body smells like vomit
tears of pain blind you
overwelmed by a pleasurable high
fingers are being shoved
to the back of your throat again
falling to your knees
all for a little self improvement
killing you slowly
each time...a little faster
living your tormented life
down on your knees
when your body hits the floor
and you reach your point of perfection
who'll be there to save you
if no one knows just what you've done
you died this way
chokeing on your knees
just how you lived your life
a slow serrated suicide
-Heather
a flickering candle lights the way
for the pen across the paper
as it scribbles its way along
spelling out your thoughts
each line thats written
deeper then the first
telling the story of life
and apologizing for it
spots of ink, tears and blood
mix with letters on the paper
getting harder to read...
but much easier to write
a chill grows in the air
the last lines are growing nearer
not much left to say now...
just one thing left to do
your name scrawls on the paper
at the bottem in a blur
your razor signs your wrist goodbye
and the pen softly follows your body to the floor
-Heather
The Fine Art Of Heartless Murder
As the crimson sun shys away
from the bold and silver moon
I anxiously await your return
in a room overcome by evening shadows
The stedy sound of the ticking clock
guides the dancing sillhouettes
the stedy pace was disturbed by the click of a door
finally, the long awaited moment had come.
You step into my darkness,
you unknowingly abandon your life
I draw you close to my shivering body
and embrace you one last time.
For beneath my ebony sweater
hides a silver blade
My boney fingers slide beneath the woolen cover
they clench a fist around the deadly silver.
With you pressed against me
my knife gentally slides toward your chest
I allow my blade to kiss your skin
then forcefully impale your heart.
In dying shock and burning pain
you colapse on the dirty floor
fading into nothingness
your slowly losing sight.
I drop to the floor
to be by your side, at the moment you depart
the carpet lying beneath me
slowly drinks the growing pool of blood.
I take my knife one last time
and lower it to your wrist
I carefully trace the blues lines of life
from the blue bleeds the red of death.
raising your lacerated wrist
to my pale, awaiting lips
I allow your blood to become my own
as I slowly take in your memory.
Lowering your wrist once more
with my thirst temperarily satisfied
I sit for an hour and watch the blood
intranced by the beauty it holds.
The silver moonlight filters in
it shimmers in your blood
I will hold this moment with me forever
for...true art, unlike you...cannot be forgotten.
